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EastEnders (BBC1, 7.30pm) With psycho kid Bobby in custody charged with killing his sister and Jane in hospital, the world’s worst dad Ian decides to heal his dysfunctional family’s gaping wounds. Good luck with that. Is this mad melodrama working for you? Or is it all too far-fetched?
They haven’t even finished building the joint yet. But as Louis XIV plans the most extravagant palace the world has ever seen, it’s already all happening at Versailles.
A carnal carnival of 17th century French decadence, BBC2’s lavish new drama is packed with explicit sex and graphic violence. What’s not to like?
The Sun King is married to his pregnant Spanish queen, but is busy bonking his sister-in-law. Their illicit liaisons are filmed in loving close up.
“The sun is shining,” says Caroline Flack even though it clearly isn’t. But, apparently, the temperature is about to rise. Presumably, when the clouds part. Exciting.
Welcome to the new, improved Love Island where the former X Factor host is presiding over a summer of lust as a bunch of fame-hungry wannabes get it on in a garish Majorcan mansion most footballers’ wives would reject as too tacky.
Meet the men, who are all considerably younger than Aunty Caroline. Which, with her track record, should suit her down to the ground…
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Coronation Street (ITV, 7.30pm) Jason’s angry with Sarah, Chesney’s jealous about Sinead and Aiden, Roy’s engaged to be married. Have the cobblestones crew finally raised their game? Or is it uneventful business as usual?
