The Apprentice: who would invest in this lot?

Time to read
2 minutes
Read so far

The Apprentice: who would invest in this lot?

October 07, 2016 - 12:23
Posted in:
1 reader reviews
Average: 3 (1 vote)
Rate this programme

Another series of The Apprentice begins and another 18 morons - sorry, entrepreneurs - put themselves in front of Lord Sugar to beg for his cash.  And again I wondered like I do every series: who would invest in this lot?

Sir Alan Sugar

By Caroline Dowse

Another series of The Apprentice begins and another 18 morons - sorry, entrepreneurs - put themselves in front of Lord Sugar to beg for his cash. And again I wondered like I do every series: who would invest in this lot?

We had Karthik, an IT guy with a big ego and even bigger eyebrows, who'd nicknamed himself 'The Big K'. The Big C, more like. There was also shy Oliver, who runs a sausage business, softly spoken Alana, who runs a cake business and Jessica, an online fashion entrepreneur who describes herself as the female Jim Carrey and clearly thinks she's hilarious. She's the only one, though.

The first task involved valuing and selling some horrid old antiques to the public and people in the trade, and as always it was Girls vs Boys. The girls inexplicably chose Nebula as their team name, while the boys went with Titans, because they reckon they're Titans of industry. Take a couple of letters away guys, and you'd have a more appropriate name. After picking up their goods from a dodgy old lock-up, the teams split up: the sub-teams headed for a car boot sale and the others went to sell to dealers.

There were two different strategies in play: the boys had a rigid pricing structure, while the girls just sold at any price. They were so desperate to sell that if a customer had offered them some magic beans they'd have taken it. They undersold everything, including a couple of vile green vases that Lord Sugar's 'team' had paid £300 for. The girls sold them for £18.

Naturally, they lost the task.

In the boardroom, PM Michelle, who had only ended up leading the team because nobody else would do it, brought back sub-team leader Alana, who she blamed for the lack of a pricing structure, and Rebecca, who'd only sold £25 worth of junk and the backstabbing began, with Alana siding with whoever wasn't having a go at her.

There seem to be two golden rules to The Apprentice: 1) the girls always lose the first task and 2) the first losing PM always gets fired. Which is exactly what happened. Michelle got the taxi ride home and Alana and Rebecca escaped. Personally, I would have got rid of all three.

I wouldn't like to pick a winner - mainly because there isn't one. They've been chosen for their personalities, not their business acumen, and for that reason they should all be fired.

There is 1 Comment

GeordieArmani's picture

I am a huge fan of this show, always have been but my reasons for watching over the years has changed. Initially it was as good show with contestants who had proven careers and who were genuinely keen to progress in the world of business. I will freely admit that I like Lord Sugar and his no frills approach to how he spells things out in the boardroom. He says like it is, admittedly sometimes his comments are a bit weird, in this weeks episode he became somewhat obsessed with the sausage making guy.

I watch the show these days because I like to see them F**K up the tasks. Every single week there is a monumental you know what up and it just makes me laugh that these people genuinely think they are the creme de la creme of the business world. They need to wake up, they are purely pawns for Lord Sugar to manipulate and humiliate. Karen Brady could eat them up and spit them all out in a second!! Keep it coming, on screen stupidity bring the viewers. Entertainment at its best.

GA x