Week 347 of The Voice’s endless blind auditions and the BBC’s duplicitous obsession with back stories continued apace.

It’s not about the losers’ mediocre voices. It’s about coming 10th in the Eurovision Song Contest 20 years ago. It’s about sensationally revealing you were once on Are You Being Served?

It’s about turning up with your best friend Chas... of Chas & Dave. It’s about shedding 13 stone and wowing the crowd with your inspiring tale of tubby woe.

Worst of all, it’s about trying your luck with the spinning chairs of doom for a second time. When The X Factor started making a virtue of the returning wannabes, the decline began.

“I’m Scott,” said Scott. “And I’m Vicki,” added Vicki. “And together... we’re Scott and Vicki!” Run that by me again.

Not sure I understand. They were terrible. So naturally will.i.am.a.jerk picked them. After the usual procession of wildly overpraised pub singers, transgender Jordan Gray delivered a mesmerising version of Bob Dylan’s Like A Woman.

So naturally all four of the clueless judges rejected her. Phew. TV’s blandest competition was in danger of becoming interesting. And we can’t have that.