Coronation Street. The Northern Powerhouse that time forgot.

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Coronation Street. The Northern Powerhouse that time forgot.

March 06, 2016 - 08:18
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Rounding on his Ian Dury lookalike dad Johnny, angry Aidan snarled: “You realise this isn’t still the 1970s right?”

Erica, Mary and Liz in the Rovers Return

Rounding on his Ian Dury lookalike dad Johnny, angry Aidan snarled: “You realise this isn’t still the 1970s right?”

Dunno about Johnny. But whoever did the interior design at the Rovers hasn’t cottoned on yet. Nor have the avid readers of the Weatherfield Gazette, who haven’t heard the news that online’s where it’s at in the 21st century.

Meanwhile, whisper it quietly to the guys at Underworld… but Manchester’s textile industry has been stone dead for donkey’s years. And if it ever filters through that a 24/7 diet of fried food and booze isn’t a great idea, life on Coronation Street will never be the same again.

Don’t tell the cobblestones crew. But this is 2016. Where, in real life, the chances of a wildly overstaffed pub and a backwater bistro surviving within yards of each other would be next to zero.

But this isn’t real life. It’s surreal Soapland. Where Rita and Norris make a good living flogging the local paper to absolutely everyone and mad Mary keeps the coffers flowing by snapping up sought after copies of best-selling paranormal magazine Inexplicable.

It’s not the various feeble temporary storylines that fascinate me. It’s the laughable ever-present anachronisms that defy belief. How does Rovers landlady Liz earn a crust when she has more employees than customers? Almost as many people work at the hairdressers. If you want a job… just ask tawdry Audrey for whom business is always booming.

Implausibly, the cab company continues to thrive after both its owners disappeared into the ether. And as for that bizarre gym with a reception desk, two exercise machines and nothing else. WTF?

But never mind the nonsensical claptrap, right now we’re supposed to give a damn about fiendish Tweety Bird doppelgänger Phelan. There’s no purpose to his random scheming. Why does he want to make Anna’s life hell? Ditto Michael’s. What’s he getting out of it? He’s like a bad guy with no point.

Talking of which, who cares about suddenly fragile Bethany suddenly being bullied at school? A hastily cobbled-together plot out of nowhere, it’s all too boringly obvious. OMG… she threw a cake at the wall. How drearily dramatic.

“That’s a Mary Berry!” protested gormless Gail. The not-so-great British bake off. Come on Corrie… raise your game.

There are 5 Comments

AdrienneB's picture

Great write up of my favourite show which has sadly declined in believability lately. I love your "Ian Dury" description of Johnny, I'll always think of that now. Gail's "That's a Mary Berry" was my fave line this week.

Mike's picture

I don't know, Adrienne (and Kev!), I think the storylines are quite realistic. My problem is I just don't care about the characters any more. They all get duller by the episode!!

Cas13's picture

Once the best ever soap it is so sad, I have to ff so much until one of the greats come on like Norris, Sally and Tim or Mary. NOT Bethany the bug eyed teenager who looks older than her mother! I Do Not Care about so many of the characters. Aidan and his family, Zeedan the Ugly and his lot, Anna and Phelan - no wonder so many of the old cast are jumping ship!