Dance Dance Dance

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Dance Dance Dance

January 14, 2017 - 12:00
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 This year, ITV bosses think they’ve found their answer to Strictly Come Dancing in the ever-so-imaginatively titled Dance Dance Dance. After the network’s previous attempt at a Strictly copy-cat show, Stepping Out, sank without trace after five weeks in 2013, I wasn’t exactly awaiting the arrival of this new show with baited breath.

Soap star Lucy-Jo Hudson and her friend Rohan Pinnock-Hamilton

By Matthew Gormley @MatthewPGormley

Ever since Torvill and Dean decided to hang up their skates back in 2014, heralding the end of Dancing On Ice, ITV have struggled to fill the gaping hole in its Sunday night schedule. Not due to a lack of trying. Two years ago, we saw celebrities attempting to do everything from spinning plates to stumbling through Double Dutch skipping in the Stephen Mulhern fronted Get Your Act Together, which disappeared after one series. This year, ITV bosses think they’ve found their answer to Strictly Come Dancing in the ever-so-imaginatively titled Dance Dance Dance. After the network’s previous attempt at a Strictly copy-cat show, Stepping Out, sank without trace after five weeks in 2013, I wasn’t exactly awaiting the arrival of this new show with baited breath.

Five celebrities team up with their real-life best friends or partners and, across six weeks, recreate famous dance routines dubbed the most iconic of all time. Think Michael Jackson, Beyonce, Dirty Dancing and you get the general idea. It’s basically like karaoke for dancing, as the music videos are recreated step by step, right down to the hair, make-up and costumes. Originality is fast becoming an alien concept.

In last weekend’s series opener, EastEnders actor Johnny Labey and his girlfriend Chrissy copied, er, sorry, recreated the dance routine from Michael and Janet Jackson’s 1995 duet ‘Scream’, whilst TOWIE star Jess Wright and her friend Duane performed the Bollywood favourite ‘Jai Ho’ from Slumdog Millionaire. Lucy-Jo Hudson, formerly of Coronation Street and Wild At Heart performed the Backstreet Boys’ routine from ‘Everybody’ alongside her friend Rohan. It didn’t exactly make for compelling viewing. Whilst the celebrities and their attention-seeking pals had put the work in and made the intricate dance routines look easy, I couldn’t help but think that I’d rather be watching the artists performing the real thing. I preferred the routines that incorporated more traditional ballroom and Latin American styles, as was the case with JLS singer JB Gill and his wife Chloe, who performed a Rumba-inspired routine to Ed Sheeran’s ‘Thinking Out Loud’, whilst Emmerdale star Fiona Wade and her friend Ronnie took on ‘I’ve Had The Time Of My Life’, from the 1987 cheese-fest Dirty Dancing. Perhaps the most famous routine of them all, Fiona and Ronnie undoubtedly felt the pressure of having to attempt that painstakingly difficult lift from the finale. Sadly, they didn’t pull it off all too well. Again, it was a case of why watch their version when you can YouTube the real thing?

Once we’d enjoyed, or rather endured, the couples’ performances, we had to watch one person from each pair perform a solo routine, which was even more boring. Eventually, we came to the very anti-climatic end, when we were simply shown the leader board and told that was it, show over, we’d be watching the same thing all over again next week. Between all the soft-shoe shuffling, naturally, were cliched comments from the resident panel of judges, headed up by Diversity frontman Ashley Banjo. Strangely enough, they’re former winners of another ITV talent show. Pure coincidence, I’m sure. He sits alongside two other people we’ve never heard of, as all three of them regurgitate the same supposedly constructive feedback after each performance.

If you think you might have seen this kind of thing before, that’s because you have. The format is near enough identical to that of the BBC’s Let’s Dance for Comic Relief/Sport Relief, which roped in a herd of celebrities from its home grown programmes to perform routines paying homage to the most famous dances of all time. You might struggle to play spot the difference.

If you were entertained by this derivative tackorama, then you’re in luck, as we’ve got another five weeks of exactly the same thing to look forward to. I predict that, not for the first time, come Sunday evening, I’ll find myself praying ‘Come back Dancing On Ice, all is forgiven!’