EastEnders. Jay’s drugs horror fails to shock

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EastEnders. Jay’s drugs horror fails to shock

August 24, 2016 - 14:19
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Oh my God! The horror! Billy’s in a towering rage. Honey is spectacularly unravelling. Roxy’s reeling. The whole world is falling apart at the seams. Albert Square’s crazy Cockneys are in a state of unprecedented shock.

EastEnders: Honey finds Jay's drugs

Oh my God! The horror! Billy’s in a towering rage. Honey is spectacularly unravelling. Roxy’s reeling. The whole world is falling apart at the seams. Albert Square’s crazy Cockneys are in a state of unprecedented shock.

And what is the cause of this seismic unrest? Sit down and pour yourself a drink. Because this is certain to rock you to the core. Wait for it… Jay has been doing a bit of coke. Snorting a line or two of nose candy. Er… that’s it.

Not since pain-wracked Corrie girl Izzy ended up in court for possessing a tiny amount of cannabis has Soapland seen such a disproportionate reaction to minor drug use. Now the space alien EastEnders writers are treating us to puny plot that’s almost as silly.

Why are these ludicrously anachronistic programmes so out of touch when it comes to narcotics? It’s 2016. Not 1935.

No one’s condoning cocaine or the harm it does. But in 21st century London would anyone be that surprised to discover that a young guy in his 20s was hoovering up a spot of toot? The way Honey imploded you’d have thought Jay had just slaughtered a couple of hundred babies.

After learning that Billy knew Jay was marching to Bolivia’s drumbeat, she furiously threw him out of the family home. Then she stormed over to Class A supplier Roxy’s place to save her kids from a fate worse than death. Hanging out with Roxy’s daughter. By now Honey was sobbing hysterically.

If you’ve been affected by this story. Don’t be. It’s absurd and bears no relation to the reality of how sentient human beings deal with the issue of drugs in modern Britain. Some try to help. Most of us just shrug our shoulders. But no one goes into volcanic meltdown. Unless they live in weird Walford where outlandish implausibility is the name of the game.

Talking of outlandish implausibility and Roxy, bombshell news that she’s leaving town for ever with her sinister sister Ronnie. Yes, the sordid siblings are heading into the sunset. We shall not see their like again. Hopefully.

According to the producers, actresses Rita Simons and Samantha Womack have been offered dramatic exits because their characters have suffered just about every nightmare in the book… and there is nothing left for them to endure.

Correct, it was getting ridiculous. In a seedy storyline that was so offensively far-fetched viewers demanded it was axed, rotten Ronnie swapped her dead baby for Kat’s living one. She also killed at least two victims. Healthy role model message there… you really can get away with murder.

Meanwhile, among her thousands of scrapes, Roxy was a multi-millionaire for about three months. After inheriting wicked Archie’s fortune, Blondie mysteriously spent it all sharpish. Naturally, even when she was a very wealthy woman, she never once considered moving out of her terraced hovel with a panoramic view of the shabby market.

Poxy Roxy’s penchant for hitting the sack with any bozo who asked was highlighted by the fact she slept with both of Ronnie’s husbands. One of whom made her pregnant. Roxy hasn’t so much run out of things to do… she’s run out of men to bonk.

So it’s good that BBC bosses have spotted that the mad Mitchell girls are all played out. But where does that leave Ian, Jane and Kathy Beale, Phil and Sharon Mitchell, manic Masood, the calamitous Carter clan and all the other long serving losers?

Every single one of them has been to hell and back so many times it’s impossible to take their trials and tribulations remotely seriously anymore. When these dysfunctional dipsticks are in trouble yet again… who on earth cares? And therein lies the problem.

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Newquay2013's picture

A thriller that grips you from the very first episode is to me a winner ! It has a fantastic cast and a plot that makes you change your mind throughout and this is just the first episode !

It's going to be a corker and will have more twists and turns than a fairground ride , not to give to much away or waffle on its about a murder of a neighbours son and daughter who just happened to be married , they live in the city as this is set in Scotland and the parents live in the country side 'way' out from the town which gets cut off from anything or anybody in bad weather ! Well not giving to much away the murderer ends up crashing outside the parents house and so the plot thickens !!!! Won't say nothing else just watch it as it totally riveting and complulsive viewing bloody brilliant !!!!