Eurotrash: TV revival bores for Britain

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Eurotrash: TV revival bores for Britain

June 18, 2016 - 17:33
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Over to Channel 4’s born again Eurotrash. Emphasis on the “trash”.

Eurotrash

Over to Channel 4’s born again Eurotrash. Emphasis on the “trash”.

I wanted to love this eagerly-awaited revival of the old comedy classic, but in the end I am not sure if I even liked it. Maybe it’s because Europe isn’t funny anymore. Whatever the reason in an hour of dated attempts to shock and amuse I think I might have chuckled briefly once.

It might be that these days the idea of the ooh la la wicked Continent is just dated. It could be that through the rose coloured prism of nostalgia, we remember this venerable programme is better than it actually was. But the truth is watching the new unimproved Eurotrash I wondered if it was ever any good.

The series which ran from 1993 to 2007, clocking up 160 episodes was the channel’s most popular entertainment show of the period with an average of 2.5 million viewers.

There are so many reasons why it was axed and hasn’t been on air for nearly ten years. Where to begin on why the one-off EU Referendum special was one of the most tedious and repetitive hours of television known to mankind?

If the idea was that viewers would be enticed to vote to stay in the EU because our Continental cousins are so wacky and funny, then I’m transitioning to the Brexit camp. Rammed with German sausage gags, a French monsieur called “Prickasso” painting with his chap and a psychic who predicted we will remain by stroking a cauliflower. Hilarious? Non.

Jean Paul Gaultier, the enfant terrible of fashion, best known for Madonna’s cone-shaped bra and his sidekick Antoine De Caunes are now well into their 60s, but still have an impish charm about them. Their rendition of Camilla Parker-Bowles and Prince Charles was mildly amusant. The only time in the semi naked marathon that was worthy of a cracked smile.

“We’ll use the referendum as a shameless excuse to explore the nooks and crannies of Europe,” explained the voice over Maria McErlane. Cut to a woman’s massive bosoms and a man’s bare bottom.

Europhile comedian Eddie Izzard was on scintillating form in his trademark pink beret and high heels. He waved his manicured nails extravagantly for 30 seconds in between the old and new clips. I very nearly smiled.

Pipi and Popo, giraffes made out of toilet roll tubes, were wheeled out again. They weren’t funny 20 years ago. And guess what? They still aren't.

Twenty year old footage of Lolo Ferrari, whose claim to fame was that she had the world’s largest breasts measuring a stonking 54J. The joke fell completely flat when you learn that she committed suicide in 2000, aged just 37.

Our French hosts dressed up as vegetables. Antoine as a pea pod, but I couldn’t tell if Jean Paul was a carrot or a tomato. I do realise that a tomato isn’t a vegetable, so he was probably a carrot.

“In 1994 the European commission declared that all cucumbers must be straight,” said JPG waving a cucumber.

Over to Antoine: “My cucumber has always bent to the right.” Naughty.

On and on it went. There was an endless assortment of dead-eyed doll faced Ukrainians who try to look like Ken and Barbie, Germans who dress like Attila the Hun, more German sausage gags and another Ukrainian called Nikita and her female bandmates who tie themselves up with rope while singing. What does the Ukraine have to do with the European Union? Your guess is as good as mine.

A man wearing an inflatable latex body suit is seen walking into a shop. We were told that “Mr Blow Up is so proud of his fetish that he wanted to share it with the rest of the world, but only got as far as Croydon”.

Now to Germany, where a Swiss performance artist tries to make a point by wearing a box over her breasts and asking people to reach inside and cop a feel. She’s back in the closing credits pretending to fondle Antoine and Jean Paul who both have boxes over their nether regions.

Just serving up a smorgasbord of big tits and naughty nudity isn’t exactly humour of the highest order, but even in a low brow sense I am not convinced it works anymore. In fact I lost the will to live. I hope Eurotrash not exhumed again in another ten years and that it’s left dead and buried. Let sleeping TV dogs lie.

There are 2 Comments

AdrienneB's picture

I totally agree, and really cannot add anything new to your review Henrietta. Eurotrash should now be consigned to the past, along with the unfortunate Lolo.

Kevin O'Sullivan's picture

A decent show in its time. But like so many programmes brought back on a wave of nostalgia, it should have been left on the shelf. Reviving hits from the past nearly always bespoils their memory. You want them to be just how they used to be... and they never are. As Henrietta so wisely wrote: Let sleeping TV dogs lie.