The Grand Tour too far?

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The Grand Tour too far?

December 20, 2016 - 17:35
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Oh how we cried tears of sorrow when TopGear, aka The Jeremy Clarkson Show, was lost due to a cold supper.

The Grand Tour

By Dojj Singh @therealdojj

Oh how we cried tears of sorrow when TopGear, aka The Jeremy Clarkson Show, was lost due to a cold supper.

And oh how we lamented the fronting of the show with one Chris Evans, aka NOT Captain America.

And then we rejoiced when we were presented with the news that Jezza, Hamster and Captain Slow, aka Three Amigos, were going to make a NEW TopGear based show, but based on The Internet.

And then came crunch time, TopGear, aka The Loud Shouty Ginger Bloke Off the Radio, “flopped”, the BBC flagship motoring show (how can it be the flagship when they only make one motoring program?) was torpedoed by its own self importance. Forgetting that people mainly watched it to see 3 blokes cocking about rather than some celebrities spending lots of time sitting down.

Suddenly there were lots of worried tales in the paper about how TopGear was in trouble. The voices from the other side were cheering about how, finally free from the yoke of the BBC’s PC overlords, The Jeremy Clarkson Show would be free to make a show that we all wanted to watch.

And then we saw the first GT and we were pleased. A few more serious uses of the “poo” word, Hamster even dropped an “F” bomb. At last, this is what TopGear was missing. Charisma, middle aged pub talk, they even exploited the final nail in the coffin of TopGear by killing off the celebrities.

But this week, what was supposed to be family fun stopped being “family” fun.

As parents, the wife and me watched things that, maybe not all children, but certainly our children, would have left them with wrinkled brows and questions we would not have had answers for.
“What’s that Daddy?” when blow up dolls, with taped up nipples, were front and centre.

“Mummy, why has that cow got a carrot coming out of its tummy?” when 2 supposedly male cows started doing things only vets should know about.

We were left asking ourselves, “Where did this come from?” all the while knowing the answer. Yes, freed from the shackles of the over PC BBC, the three amigos were branching off into riskier tangents, knowing that they were protected from the problems they had encountered at their former employer.

And this is now the dilemma I find myself facing: my kids KNOW that TopGear, aka The Jeremy Clarkson Show, is on every Friday, and they look forward to watching it when they get home from school, only this week they discovered that not only was there no Jeremy Clarkson Show to watch, but also that the service now required a password.

On one hand, I loved the show. But on the other, my kids loved the show.

And now that every child in the land knows that Pester Power defeats all knows parenting skills, how am I going to explain that there is no more The Jeremy Clarkson Show available for them to watch?

Yes, it’s listed as rated 12, yes, we have to pay to watch it, yes, no one else has complained about how bad a parent you have to be to allow the product of your loins to watch “inappropriate scenes on TV”, but how do you explain to an 8 year old that their favorite TV show is now no longer considered “appropriate viewing”?

I don’t know, and for the next 2 weeks at least, I’m going to ignore their howls of indignation that they aren’t allowed to do stuff they were allowed to do before.

And yes again, I know that they should be watching CBBC’s and that they aren’t the target audience, but when you have a family show, should it not cater to “the family”? Or is this the start of that inexorable shift towards a new world where there is no line to cross as it’s been blurred too much?

As for The Grand Tour, it’s great, if you are a grown up.