By nestle81

The cooking competition, Masterchef, is back with John Torode and Gregg Wallace - but don’t let that stop you reading this review.

This year producers really pushed the boundaries and contestants were tasked with the challenging task of cooking a recipe using foods from a ‘market.’ That’s right, a market, you know, containing food. Bonkers!

“Be brrraaaaave” bellowed Wallace eyes darting about like a mad frog.

It’’s a market, Gregg.

Football coach Solomon took the task as it was intended and just shoved some dried pasta in a saucepan, pretty much what you do midweek after a ‘mad one’ at the market.

John Torode, looking as glum as ever, was a stark contrast to contestant Kelly an Inland Revenue worker and “super competitive.” Unfortunately she made her risotto with paella rice. Gregg ruefully pointed out the difference to the Inland Revenue worker looking like he’d just worked out a peace treaty in Gaza.

Wine bore Jamie bored everyone to death with his ‘transferable palate” before making an underwhelming chicken dish with red wine. Weirdly he made it through to the next round.

Up next was culinary Picasso “ food artist” Maria - the world is her inspiration she claimed, or just Thailand in this case.

She served her Thai-style fish with tomatoes whilst pulling strange facial expressions which reminded me of a thunderbird.

In the second round she told John Torode Masterchef was a “continuation of creativity” before serving Thai-style fish on a bed of arrogance.

NHS worker Leanne was told by her husband “not to cry or drop anything.” She cooked a lemon curd tart and walked it up to human dustbin Gregg who bellowed: “Eye spy with my little eye something beginning with, absolutely love that pudding when can I eat it.” No, me neither.

Judging the second round were last year’s winner the brilliant Jane and the two runners up nobody really remembers.

After a few disasters and dramatics like an undercooked tart star cook Leanne was up next.
“Rooooooooar, go on Leaaaane” shouted Gregg, sounding like a builder from the ‘70s who hadn’t had a wank that morning.

Leanne, Jamie and Thunderbird are through.

Well done Leanne - God knows how you haven’t cried or dropped anything.