Welcome to Sex Box, TV’s important forum for grown-ups looking for adult advice on how to improve their love lives.

Don’t laugh. This is a serious programme. That’s why Channel 4 has hired a presenter with great gravitas. The X Factor USA’s sensational success story Steve Jones.

But after the Welsh wonder crashed and burned on Simon Cowell’s American express, he’s in his element as he sends couples into a soundproof box for saucy fun and games. Phwoar.

Quite what this titillating tosh is doing back on the – er – box is something of a mystery. Hosted by the earnest Mariella Frostrup in important social experiment mode, the first flop series sank without trace. Sex sells? Not always.

But now Jonesy has taken over the reins he’s turned it into a Carry On comedy packed with nudges, winks and juvenile jokes. The trouble is Boyo isn’t as funny as he thinks he is. Aiming his naughty monologues at tittering teens isn’t going to hit the spot with those of us who are past puberty. It was all a bit silly and boring.

But meet sexologist (whatever that is) Goedele Liekens, who Steve described as “a Sherpa leading us to the summit of our sexual Everest.”

Former Miss Belgium Goedele interrogates the real stars of the show before and after their steamy sessions in the eponymous box.

Call me cynical, but I suspect these are people who are prepared to suffer any amount of embarrassment as long as it gets them on TV. Why else would they subject themselves to the last word in over-exposure

When two women got it on and one of them lost her lesbian virginity, Steve hailed it as a triumphant milestone in television history.

“Faye just lost her virginity on Sex Box!” he boomed. “Wow! Heroes. Absolute Heroes!” That’s what you call setting the bar low for heroism.

Now over to passionate pair Julian and Courtney who were anxious to explore the pursuit of ecstasy without penetration. No one knows why.

Goedele: “So what is your favourite position?” Julian: “69.” Courtney: “On top for me.” Goedele: “Cowgirl or reverse cowgirl?” Courtney: “Facing him. That’s cowgirl isn’t it?” Studio audience: “Ha ha ha ha ha ha!”

Is this sacrificial slaughter of privacy a bold way to get prudish Brits to talk openly about intimacy? Or is it just tawdry telly to entertain the prurient masses? You decide.

Must admit I was leaning towards the latter when platonic pals Rosemary and Luke decided it was high time they got physical while keeping the viewers abreast of all developments. The perfect start to a mature relationship.

After they’d ventured out of the friends-zone, Steve announced: “We’ve got a bit of pillow camera action.” Cut to Rosemary and Luke lying in bed. Steve: “Are we looking at you mid-coitus or post- coitus?”

Unsurprisingly, they had actually finished. “Post,” said Luke.” I’m pretty happy.” Rosemary: “I’m fine. Wahey!” Studio audience: “Ha ha ha ha ha ha!”

Back to Steve: “Just for my Sex Box records, did you both orgasm?” They did. But there was no penetration, which seemed to please the easily pleased Goedele.

To pad out a very long hour, they asked members of the public about their sexual ambitions. One lady giggled: “I decided a few years ago I was going to sleep with 100 people.” What, all at once?

And Steve did a solo slot in which he tried to be hilarious about sex toys. But failed. In fairness though, when he mercifully signed off at the end of a tedious night, he was rather amusing.

“Join us next time,” he began. “New couples, new positions, new fantasies… on the same sheets.” Which made it all seem even more sordid.