Over to the E! channel's grittily realistic The Royals where the super script is as scintillating as ever...

Servant Rachel: “Do you need anything before your visit to parliament today Your Majesty?” Queen Helena: “Yes, another pair of knickers.”

Only the toweringy talented Liz Hurley could deliver such a line without sounding disgustingly sordid. *Coughs*.

Also starring in this moronic all-American take on life at the liddle ol' English palace, EastEnders relics Danny Moon and Jack Branning make it even more laughably absurd.

So bad it's good? If only. It's just bad...