By Angela McCluskey @angelamccluskey   

The new Amazon series out of Berlin lost it's way half through the first sentence of the first scene and proceeded to spiral down the black hole of  'a pinch of this' and 'a pinch of that'.

Oh and remember to make the woman cop a chain smoking Wizard of Oz wicked witch of the east. I'm sorry to comment on someone's looks but everything about this character was so desperate! Scowling like a bad Bogart impersonater - stubbing her 67th cigarette out in between spraying asthma medicine down her throat. WTF is going on?  Really! I'm so serious it's not even funny! Someone tell me the editor was on magic mushrooms (I hear they're back in vogue).

The dialogue - aghhhh sounded like it was written by cutting out sentences from a newspaper in 1985 - I'm furious Amazon! All that money, effort, publicity wasted ... Variety promised a great new German Amazon production to be sold around the world - I got excited - yummy I love all that stuff. The dark insides of all those grey towering plastic monstrosities bending over the city like giant watchdogs! Gawd I'm so mad! I can't believe not one actor stopped and said ""Wie Fukkin Gates?"

Er excuse me I'm a bit lost here - why am l wondering about a police station with an unopened box basically marked 'This might be a bomb.'  Didn't the Editor get seasick trying to follow the plot?

The lead actor looks like the lovechild of Rupert Penry 'pretty boy' Jones and Tom 'hug me' Hiddleston. He has three expressions = hurt, very hurt and confused with big puppy dog eyes (probably wondering what he was doing in this insane turd of a production. Oh wait I know - big money - lead part - European and American productions - big push - my big break! Hopefully no one will notice it's a steaming pile of shite. Sorry Amazon time to get a new commissioner of European productions.   No, I'm serious This is unacceptable in this day and age of outstanding television.

There's absolutely no reason on earth this script should have even been printed out. How so many people could keep their mouth shut and just take the money is an affront to the human race. Well the part of it that gets excited when they see a sterling night of gripping drama ahead of them and get served up this abomination! I'm going to have to go rewatch Spiral or f***ing Happy Valley to watch the taste out of my head!