So someone gives you a briefcase stuffed with loadsamoney... what do you do? I know what you’re thinking. You’d go straight out and buy a raccoon for a mere 460 quid. Who wouldn’t?
After ensuring that the new SUGAR ME SWEET Arg recruits had no pornographic material “including inflatable dolls”, master-atarms Ian Gritt was ready to embark on a TV voyage.
A triumphant week for fat Arg as he was kicked off The Jump for being rubbish and finished his stint on ITV’s Sugar Free Farm by tucking into a caramel sundae. Fail.
Launching the bloodbath with a greeting to men only, deafening Davina McCall screamed: “Hold on to your helmets!”
The Beeb's public funded EastEnders writers don't understand the cut and thrust of commerce. So crap businesses are a way of life in Albert Square.
On the plus side, the intrepid modern Brits struggling to survive like pretend cavemen haven't yet moved into a hotel. As last year's contingent did when it snowed.
As seen on ITV, the latest epic Royal Variety Performance was the best for years. Or to put it more accurately... the least terrible.
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