Dragons’ Den, series 14… and just as we’re learning to live with the unnecessary lift, a lukewarm welcome to the rubbish “Reaction Room”.

Oh look, there’s Alex, 23, and her 25 year-old brother George watching their generously proportioned dad Mark Newman die a death as he pitches his baffling Big Boy bean bags for grown-ups. Yours for just 113 quid. A massive waste of money? You decide.

“I’m just a dyslexic barrow boy,” says Mark, impressively, after tycoon Nick Jenkins assures him he’s done “an appalling job” selling his pointless product online.

“Poor Papa,” sigh Alex and George when their hapless father’s bid to raise £75,000 grand spectacularly fails. What does this Reaction Room innovation bring to the party? The square root of sod-all.

The venerable show where nervous wannabe entrepreneurs try to persuade puffed-up millionaires to invest in their mostly hopeless business ideas is BBC2’s most enduring hit. It’s a beautifully simple, wonderfully strong format that ain’t broke… so why fix it?

The desperate hopefuls are often hilarious. Smaller pencils for small children… can I have £50,000 please? Er… no.

“I can’t work out whether this is brilliant or completely bonkers,” declared Sarah Willingham. FYI Sarah… it’s the latter.

But the Dragons are pretty funny too. Stalwarts Peter Jones and Deborah Meaden joined forces with relative newcomer Touker Suleyman to hand a fish and chip shop owner £60,000 for her ridiculous Boot Buddy gismo. A useless squirty thing to clean your football boots straight after the match.

“I can see one of these being sold with every pair of boots,” boomed Jones. Really? I can see no one buying one of these ever. But it was invented by Mrs Chippy’s likeable 15 year-old son. Uplifting telly innit.

When craft gin peddlers John Burke and John Hulme rejected Deborah Meaden’s unusually generous offer of £75,000 for ten percent, she was furious because they clearly wanted Sarah to back them. Her pride dented, Deborah’s outrage was TV gold.

Needless to say, Ms Meaden was out. And Ms Willigham was in… for 12.5 per cent. D’oh!

No doubt about it, the Den is missing seasoned performers Theo Paphitis and Duncan Bannatyne. But it’s still a reliable ratings warhorse packed with cracking comedy. A serious programme? Don’t make me laugh.