Red Nose Day (BBC1, 7pm and 10.35pm. BBC2, 10pm) Like an annoying relative’s birthday, it comes around every year and there’s no getting away from it. Yes, it’s the Beeb’s not-so-hilarious charidee telethon that finally shuts up shop at 2.35am. All the usual suspects – Lenny Henry, Jonathan Ross, French & Saunders etc. – hit the screen in concerted bid to separate us from the contents of our wallets. Apart from a few rare highlights it’s about as funny as a funeral. Top of the bill is an updated abbreviated version of Love Actually starring Hugh Grant, Martine McCutcheon, Liam Neeson and the gang. Also, Graham Norton’s chat show featuring a ludicrously long celebrity packed sofa. Ed Sheeran live. And much, much, much more. Great cause – but is it a great programme? You decide.

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Coronation Street (ITV, 7.30 and 8.30pm) Pluckily pressing on in the shadow of the saintly Beeb’s dazzlingly good deeds, Weatherfield productions proudly present more of Daniel and Sinead’s saga of despair. Tonight, Sinead loses the baby they both didn’t really want. Meanwhile, Casanova cabbie Peter Barlow tells cloying Chloe to stay away. Fat chance. There may be trouble ahead.

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