November 2016

Escape To The Chateau. Déjà vu as dynamic Dick embarks on another property mission impossible

November 29, 2016 - 18:46
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Dick and Angel in Escape to the Chateau

A decade or so ago Channel 4 churned out a watchable series in which a British family attempted to start a new life abroad by renovating a dilapidated French mansion.

Reflecting the shambolic nature of the ramshackle project, the programme was called Chaos At The Castle. It was never going to win a Bafta but it was pretty funny.

Now those nice people at C4 (the ones who nicked the Bake Off) have paid it the ultimate tribute. By making it again. Exactly the same. Only this time with an imaginative new name… Escape To The Chateau.

I’m A Celebrity…Get Me Out Of Here: where animal welfare goes to die

November 29, 2016 - 18:19
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Adam Thomas holds a spider in his mouth

Every year I'm A Celeb's brutal Bush Tucker Trials spark outrage when the cackling campmates stuff their faces with live animals. But ITV bosses simply ignore the protesters’ pleas and bump up the slaughter. It's Carry On Cruelty..

So far series 15 has featured Gogglebox girl Scarlett Moffatt biting the head off a beetle and eating it. Plus Emmerdale star Adam Thomas and Homes UnderThe Hammer weirdo Martin Roberts trapping wriggly insects in their mouths for 30 horrific seconds.

What to watch and review on Tuesday: Rillington Place, EastEnders...

November 29, 2016 - 09:40
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Tim Roth in Rillington Place

EastEnders (BBC1, 7.30pm) More Cockney cobblers as the reality of Phil's situation hits hard, and the pressure grows on Ronnie as Jack pushes ahead with his plans for their future, revealing he is selling the gym and has even booked a date for their wedding. Jane opens up to Stacey about her marriage, worried that Ian no longer wants her, while Shakil has a suggestion how he and Bex can move their relationship on. Rehearsals for the Christmas play go from bad to worse.

Two Doors Down

November 29, 2016 - 07:22
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Two Doors Down

By Geordie Armani @GeordieArmani

I am happy to say that we are now watching series two of Two Doors Down. If you can try and watch series 1. Yet again BBC Scotland have come up trumps with this comedy.

Set in Glasgow it follows the lives of three families living in one street. There are six key characters, excellent choice of characters as they are so believable and you can associate with them people you know in the real world.

Strictly Come Dancing and The X Factor. No Ed Balls, no Honey G… no point

November 28, 2016 - 17:02
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Honey G and Ed Balls leave The X Factor and Strictly

That’s it then. For those of us who don’t take these daft competitions seriously, it’s all over. No Ed Balls, no Honey G… no point.

Former Chancellor Balls was total – er – balls. A dad dancer of epic-fail proportions, the portly politician put his heart and soul into every hilarious rubbish-routine and swiftly emerged as Strictly’s undisputed star. For me, the only reason to tune in.

The Grand Tour: UKIP on wheels

November 28, 2016 - 15:34
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The Grand Tour

In the wonderful world of television it was all happening. The BBC’s Children In Need telethon raised £47million for charity. Strictly Come Dancing’s iconic Blackpool special waltzed into the record books with a vast audience of nearly 11million. Sir David Attenborough’s wildlife spectacular Planet Earth II slaughtered The X Factor in the ratings war. and ITV’s jungle juggernaut I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! had the nation hooked for the umpteenth year in a row.

What to watch and review on Monday. Tonight's TV tips.

November 28, 2016 - 15:00
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Will Larry Lamb walk?

Tour de Celeb (Channel 5, 7pm) Programme-makers have corralled celebrities into ice dancing, ski jumping, darts and diving. Now they have set their sights on yet another sport called l’Etape du Tour, a gruelling 90 mile bike race in the French Alps. Saddle up to see the stars suffer including Jodie Kidd, Darren Gough, Louie Spence and Austin Healey. No doubt we will have to endure tedious weeping and be told that this is the toughest task they’ve had to endure.

Walliams And Friend won't leave you in stitches

November 26, 2016 - 20:16
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Walliams and Friend

By Matthew Gormley @MatthewPGormley

There isn’t quite the appetite there once was for the sketch show in primetime television land. In days gone by, British classics such as The Two Ronnies, Victoria Wood As Seen On TV and The Morcambe and Wise Show were essential viewing, with the latter regularly pulling in audiences in excess of 20 million.

I’m A Celeb. In the jungle, the unmighty jungle, the viewers sleep tonight

November 25, 2016 - 17:41
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Ola and Martin enjoying the Bush Brewery 

Down Under in the moronic inferno of ITV2’s godawful spin-off show Extra Camp the four hosts of the apocalypse are catching a lot of flak for their nightly "analysis" of the latest goings on in the jungle.

Far be it from me to leap to the defence of gurner-in-chief Vicky Pattison, frightful oaf Joe Swash, random Geordie Chris Ramsey and best of a bungling bunch Stacey Solomon. No doubt about it… these shambolic shouters are as noisy as they are useless.

What to watch and review on Friday. Tonight's TV tips

November 25, 2016 - 15:02
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David Walliams and Jack Whitehall spoof Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman in Sherlock

EastEnders (BBC1, 7.30pm) Not so long ago he was a strutting soldier with anger management problems striking fear into the hearts of all who encountered him. Now the new unimproved Lee Carter is a cowering bullying victim depressive with erectile dysfunction. Bummer. Tonight, worried wife Whitney confronts him about bunking off work and their non-existent sex life.

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